"Missing out"

"Missing out" is a term that no one really likes to use. Unless sarcastically. Then it's pretty fun. You know like "Hey, want to run with me at 5am tomorrow morning?" "I know I'm missing out, but I can't make it". Or "Would you like some green bean casserole from this delicious Thanksgiving meal?" "No thanks! I know, I know... I'm missing out." Or how about "You should totally go to that Taylor Swift concert with me next September!" "As much as I'd feel like I'd be missing out, I'm going to have to pass on that one." (or would I really say that? Love me some Taylor Swift! "You belong with me" has always been one of my favs!)

Usually that term comes in some form of "I feel like I'm always missing out." The idea that you see other people or know of other people, whether that is friends or family or even just random people, doing something that you wish you could be doing, but for whatever reason, you can't. This is how I felt most of my life up until I was in 4th grade or so. Regarding what you might ask? Having friends? NO! I had friends thank you very much! Sitting on the bench during baseball watching others play? NO! I was even on the "All-Star" team one year. I played! Watching my parents love my siblings rather than me? NO! Sure, their names all start with a "J", but I'm well-loved by my parents. Probably their favorite! Then what was it? SWIMMING IN THE DEEP END AT THE POOL! I couldn't do it. Had a terrible fear of swimming. I was what one might call a "clinger". No, I did not get overly attached in a relationship and try to spend all my time with a girl and keep her to myself. I was afraid of girls! Still am. They're scary. What I really meant by clinger was that I would jump into the deep end, right by the wall so that I could pop-up really quick, grab the side of the pool and scoot my way to the ladder. A clinger. I clung to the side of the pool like my life depended on it! Which it did! I didn't know how to swim! I would watch my siblings and cousins and friends jump off the diving board, dive deep to the bottom, have a ball in the deep end, and I would always feel like I was missing out. That I could be having so much more fun, if I just wasn't afraid to swim in the deep end. I eventually learned how to swim. Not very well. Was a life guard two summers even. Thankfully as a lifeguard you have that flotation device. But, whenever I think about not being able to swim in the deep end for so long, I always remember that feeling of missing out.

We all feel at some point like we're "missing out". Lately, I've been encountering it in a different way. Whether from my own feelings, or those of a friend, I keep encountering this feeling of "missing out" living a life as a disciple of Christ, compared to a life that is "of this world".  There seems to be this overwhelming feeling that living this life devoted to Jesus Christ, trying to do my best to be a good Christian man, is keeping me from experiencing the world as those who live in the world and of the world do. People, in all walks of life, seem to give into what the world tells them they should be doing to "enjoy life" rather than what Jesus Christ tells us brings life. And I'm left questioning at times "Am I missing out on living life because I'm living a life of Christian dignity and striving towards virtue rather than doing what makes me "feel good" or what the world tells me "feels good""? Am I missing out because I am not giving into what mainstream culture says is "living"? Am I missing out because I'm living a life that is somewhat countercultural, a life of sacrifice and devotion to God and serving others? Am I missing out because my thoughts often are of God and things of God rather than of what TV show I want to watch or what party I was at the past weekend? Am I missing out because I'm trying to live a life that Jesus Christ calls us to?

I've thought about this, and prayed about this, and contemplated this idea and talked about it with others, and I keep coming back to the same idea. And that is an overwhelming and overpowering NO! NO I AM NOT MISSING OUT! In fact, I strongly believe the question is who really is missing out? Is it the person who is striving and driving and fighting towards Christ? Or is it the person who doesn't know Christ? Who has never had a true encounter with Christ? Who has never known or never believed in the love that Christ has for them? Or who has never served alongside another in the name of Christ? Who has never understood the beauty there is in sacrifice and suffering? Who has never experienced the peace and serenity that comes from spending time with a God who cares and desires our good?

Who is really missing out? This question and resounding answer has been all the more reinforced in my faith because of a simple passage from St. Paul in his second letter to the Corinthians:

         "We are not discouraged; rather, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

Therefore I AM NOT DISCOURAGED!!! Although my outer self, the self that lives in this world is wasting away, my inner self is being renewed DAY BY DAY by a God in Jesus Christ who is LIVING and truly living WITHIN ME! And although living this life in this world brings a light affliction for it is not easy swimming against the current, which is the way of this world, IT IS ONLY MOMENTARY! And this momentary light affliction is producing for us all an ETERNAL WEIGHT OF GLORY BEYOND ALL COMPARISON!!! What we do in this life can produce an eternal weight of glory! It can be heavy for others who are not use to this weight of glory that living a life in devotion to Christ may bring, and they will definitely feel that weight and show disgust or their dislike towards it, some times in persecution towards you, but THEY CAN DEAL WITH IT! As John Eldredge said in his book "Wild at Heart" "LET THE WORLD FEEL THE WEIGHT OF WHO YOU ARE, AND LET THEM DEAL WITH IT." (Great book by the way: http://www.amazon.com/Wild-Heart-Discovering-Secret-Hardcover/dp/B002XN3J3W/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1291137702&sr=8-3, check it out) And all the more so because as St. Paul says, what is seen is merely transitory! It will pass away! The things of this world will some day be no more! But what is unseen is ETERNAL! It will last forever! That weight of glory that comes along with living a life for Christ is ETERNAL! It reminds me of how in the book "The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Siena" (Great book too! Pretty heavy reading! http://www.amazon.com/Catherine-Siena-Dialogue-Classics-Spirituality/dp/0809122332/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1291137934&sr=1-1), it at one point mentions how this life on earth is merely transitory and they used the analogy that this life is just the needlepoint of a needle. Just the point! The rest of the needle is eternity! What do you want to live for?

So it leads me to ask again, who is really missing out? What part of the needle do you really want to be "missing out" on? The point, or the entire needle itself? And even in living a life where Christ is my center and Christ is my goal, even in the short time that I have given towards this, I have experienced more joy and love and goodness and beauty and truth then I believe I could in a thousand lifetimes without it! Certainly there will be grief and hurt and loneliness that comes along with sacrifice, but that makes the joy, the happiness, the companionship all the more beautiful and worth it!

Sometimes, it seems like when you're not swimming in the deep end of the pleasures of this world, or you're not freely jumping off the diving board of experiences with this life on earth, you're missing out. But I believe being a clinger, clinging on to the strong foundation of faith in a God who loves you and wants what's best for you, clinging close to Christ and what truly brings life, while still swimming in the water of this world... Experiencing the eternal weight of glory... That's what truly brings life. That's what truly makes one feel alive. And those who don't know this, they're the ones who are truly "missing out".