When I was in the 2nd to 5th grade, my family lived in Mundelein, Chicago. I have really great memories of the house that our family resided in at 701 Hillside dr. The greatest part about that time was that my brother Jason was my absolute best friend! We did everything together. Sure, me being the younger brother by a year and 3 months, he may not have liked it. He might have felt like there was a new born puppy following him around everywhere. He probably felt this even more because I wagged my tail every where we went, slobbered on anything we passed by, and often pooped where I wasn't supposed to... But let's not get into that. I like to believe he enjoyed me being his best friend as much as I enjoyed him being mine. We definitely had our moments of fighting, but we always came out hugging and forgetting.
I have many memories with him during that time. In our mischief, we broke a few items around the house that mom and dad didn't necessarily appreciate. We shared a room together with a bunk bed in which, when it came time to clean it up, my brother always had the brilliant plan that I, being the younger brother, should clean up everything that was touching the floor, while he cleaned up everything that wasn't touching the floor. For some reason I fell for this, and ended up cleaning up pretty much our whole room while he watched and giggled. Good move Jason! We spent our mornings, eating breakfast, waiting for the bus, watching the Bozo the clown show or Scooby Doo.
How could I forget the moment that really showed me his love and thoughtfulness towards me as a brother? In 5th grade I was in band (I played a mean trumpet... No doubt I sounded horrible.) and we had practice after school. One afternoon, as I got out of practice, I was waiting outside for my mother to pick me up. Many minutes later, realizing that everyone had left, and I was the only one there. I decided it was best for me to hike it home. So, I picked up my trumpet case, put on my backpack and began the long trek back to our house. When I was about half-way home, I saw a distant figure riding towards me on a bike that had blonde hair like mine. As this figure got closer, I realized it was my brother Jason. When he finally got up to me, he mentioned something about how our mom forgot to pick me up (Surprise, Surprise! Just kidding mom!). He then suggested that I ride the bike home, and he would carry my trumpet case and backpack as he walked the rest of the way. Without hesitation, I took him up on his offer and coasted back home on what I'm sure was none other than a "Dyno" stunt bike. We were really cool! Especially my brother for doing such a great deed such as that! That's the kind of selfless, thoughtful guy my brother Jason is. I truly look up to him.
There's one last story I want to share. It was on a wonderful winter day in Illinois, which meant it was really cold! We had a park across the street from our house that had a pond and a gazebo. Every winter, when it would get well below freezing, the pond would freeze over, and in our adventurous hearts, we would always walk across it to different parts of the pond and just slide on it for fun. The one afternoon I recall now, it wasn't well below freezing, but just a few degrees below. Still VERY cold! As Jason and I and our friend Jay (this guy was awesome! Ask any of my family members about him and their response will probably be something along the lines of "oh man... he was a character!") were walking on the frozen ice of the pond. We came to a spot that was close to the land and started to "test the ice". Although, throughout my years I have always been kind of dense and not necessarily caught on to what's really happening around me, there was part of me that was sensing some mischief in Jason and Jay's attitudes. We came to a spot where they started jumping up and down next to each other. Then, they started to encourage me to do the same! "Come on Chris! Just jump up and down! Look! The ice is really thick here..." Trusting in these two dear friends of mine, and one of them being my older brother who would NEVER want any harm for his little brother, I had faith in their suggestions. So, I took the liberty in joining them, even though I was standing about 7 feet or so away from them. Little did I know, the spot I was currently standing on, they realized was thinner then the rest and should not be jumped on. Low and behold, after the third jump, the ice gives way underneath me, and I fall into the pond water below me that went about waist deep! FREAKING OUT because the water was freezing, I do my best to get out hurriedly, shuffle to the side and proceed to run home. All the while, my brother Jason and our friend Jay are laughing in such a way that it seemed their plan had been achieved. Once I got feeling back in my legs, you better believe I was looking to exact my revenge on my brother Jason. But, he definitely got the best of me that day. After that, my faith in his suggestions somewhat dwindled. I say "somewhat" because, again, I'm pretty dense, so I still bought in from time to time.
I mention this because, not only do I love my brother so much and truly enjoyed those times we had in Illinois, but mainly because I was reminded of this last story in my prayer today. My meditation was focused on faith. The Holy Spirit was really working within me to ask and plead to God to help me and increase my faith in Him. It was based off the Gospel passage for today from Mark. The reading was from Mark 9: 14-29. In this reading, as Jesus was coming down from the mountain where He was transfigured in all His glory before Peter, James and John, a crowd approached them as they were arguing. Upon asking them what they were arguing about, Jesus comes to find that a man had brought his son who was possessed by a mute spirit to his disciples so that they would drive it out, but they could not. So, he brings the boy to Jesus and immediately the boy goes into convulsions. Jesus then asks the father how long this has been happening to him and his reply and what continues after it I will write to emphasize the point:
"'Since childhood. It has often thrown him into fire and into water to kill him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.' Jesus said to him, ''If you can!' Everything is possible to one who has faith.' Then the boy's father cried out, 'I do believe, help my unbelief!' Jesus, on seeing a crowd rapidly gathering, rebuked the unclean spirit and said to it, 'Mute and deaf spirit, I command you: come out of him and never enter him again!' Shouting and throwing the boy into convulsions, it came out..."
Could you just imagine this scene? Jesus, coming down from the mountain, where He had just revealed the beautiful glory of His divinity to Peter, James and John (all of them being on a "God high" if you will...) is immediately confronted by a large, arguing crowd. Thrown into the mix right away, Jesus is approached by a man who has a son that no one else can help. Jesus is this man's only hope. As Jesus confronts the man about his situation, the man shows his lack of faith in his statement "But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." Questioning whether or not Jesus, this man's only hope, could do anything to help his situation. But should we fault this man for such a comment? He approached several others before Jesus. Others who had worked miracles in the name of Christ before for other people. These same people who had helped countless others, could not help him and his son. When your faith is shaken in such a way, it is hard to have faith at all! Yet, he still reached out to Jesus for help! And asked for His compassion. Jesus responds in such a way where He points out the man's lack of faith, and then proclaims such a statement of faith that would bring hope to anyone when He says "Everything is possible to one who has faith".
This man then realizes his own lack of faith and cries out to Christ for help with this weakness. "I do believe, help my unbelief!" What a BEAUTIFUL cry for help!!! In Christ's great compassion, he recognizes this man's cry for help and responds in such an amazing way. He commands the mute and deaf spirit to come out of this man's son, and it does. Now imagine what is going on in the heart of that man. That same man who questioned Jesus's ability to help him, Jesus Christ's ability to do anything for him. That same man who realized his lack of faith, and cried out in his weakness and complete vulnerability "HELP MY UNBELIEF!" What do you think this situation has done for his faith? What do you think his complete vulnerability and his cry out to the Lord for help has done for his faith? What do you think seeing his son, who was abused by this mute, deaf spirit for years, ever since his childhood, now upright and healthy? How do you think this whole situation affected the faith of all those who were in the crowd witnessing this situation?
If Christ were to say to you "Everything is possible to one who has faith", what would your response be? Would you respond as the father did saying "I do believe, help my unbelief!"? Or would you respond in a different way?
Faith can be a touchy subject for many. This may be the case for some because their situation may be like the father's from this Gospel. They have spent years, ever since their childhood, searching for faith. Going to people that have helped others in their lack of faith. Seeing many people having their prayers answered, yet finding no answers to their own. Looking for some one to help them in their lack of faith, yet finding no one who could give them the answer they want. Striving to find some reason to believe that their situation can be helped, yet never feeling as if it will be resolved.
Or, maybe their situation is like mine with my brother when we were playing on the ice. They had great faith in some one whom they believed was leading them down the right path. They believed they were concerned for their greater good. They would follow them anywhere, even on thin ice. Yet, despite their great concern for them, they for one reason or another, let them fall. They find themselves cold, bitter and untrusting because this person let them fall. And their faith has been lost in the frostbite of their hurt.
Whatever the situation might be, let us learn from the man in the Gospel. When we are most vulnerable, when we have exhausted all other options, when we are completely broken, let us go to the only one who can truly proclaim "Everything is possible to one who has faith." Let us go to Jesus Christ, and Jesus Christ alone and proclaim "I do believe, help my unbelief!" For, as it says in the meditation for today from "In Conversation with God vol. 3":
"Faith is a gift of God, and only He can increase it in the soul."
It is Christ and Christ alone that can give us the faith our heart and soul is searching for! It is Jesus Himself who can break the walls of unbelief that surround our heart and bring faith into our soul! It is God alone who can transform an unbelieving heart into one that's full of faith!
But, He will not do it unless we sincerely ask Him. He will not go against our free will. And, for some reason, it's only in our brokenness that our prayers become sincere. Embrace your brokenness... God does.
We must also have an open heart to receive the faith Christ longs to give us. "For our part, humility, purity of soul and openness of heart towards the truth will enable us to receive those gifts which Jesus never denies to souls who place no obstacles in the way of his granting them." (In Conversation with God, vol. 3 p. 360-361)
If we know of others, "if the faith of our friends, brothers and sisters or children were to waver or weaken, we should imitate this good father in the Gospel account" (ibid, p. 360). We should approach Jesus Christ for their sake and pray that He may open their heart so that they may receive the supernatural light that is faith in Him!
So, let us pray along with the man from the Gospel despite what faith we have in our hearts and say "I do believe, help my unbelief!".
Let us pray along with each other and say "Lord, increase my faith! Don't allow my faith in you ever to be shaken!"
Let us pray for those we know whose faith has been weakened, wavered or left wanting and say "Open their hearts, Lord, so that they may receive Your supernatural light"!
And let us believe that "everything is possible to one who has faith."
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